A funeral celebrant will ask you many questions. How they do so, and what they ask is an indication of whether or not you feel comfortable with them. If you consider that they are ultimately the person who you are trusting, in a period of grief and confusion, to write and officiate the service of a loved one, then that person should be the ideal choice for you.
I rarely write articles in the first person, as my usual approach is to be as concise and informative as possible when sharing valuable information. Yet, I do always hope to instil confidence and my personality into my writing. Hence in this post, I will be talking to you personally, sharing my process of gathering information in order to provide you with the best service imaginable under your circumstances. As who after all does not want the very best celebration of life for the person they have lost?
Where does a funeral celebrant even begin in finding out information?
How I find out information is by a simple and succinct process that works for you and for me. I listen to you. From that very first conversation over the phone, which I call in my head ‘freefall memories’ I am listening to you. Either your funeral director NAFD Funeral Directors has recommended me, you may already have seen me, or you have found me online, however we get to that first phone call, I am listening to everything you are telling me. You would be surprised at how much loving and informative information you suddenly want to share as after all, talking about a person who has died, deeply painful though it is, is cathartic.
After we have talked on the phone and arranged a date and time to meet, I do some research based on what information I have gleaned from our call. In today’s world, most people have some form on online footprint and that is always a good starting point. Or perhaps a casual reference to a place of birth, a military career or an association with some organisation or other.
One example I could use to illustrate that last fact is that I live in a coastal town, so if someone has retired, they may have been a volunteer for the RNLI Volunteer for the RNLI or a local charity organisation. As a starting point, before I meet you, I will have found out what this entails so I know a little bit about their personality and circumstances.
They may have been a musician, so I will look up their sort of music or where they played; a sportsperson, so I will research their sport and team. Whatever small fact I may have gleaned, before we meet up, I’ll have done some research and exploration to help me understand.
What can I expect when a funeral celebrant visits me?
Expect nothing when I am coming to visit you. Truthfully you have enough on your minds already and the sheer overwhelming sense of disbelief, sorrow and lets face it the bureaucracy of death can be all consuming. Once we have arranged a suitable time and place to meet (which is almost always in your home or that of the person whose funeral I am officiating) all you need to do is meet me. You can do this alone, with relatives, with friends, however you feel comfortable. We’ll have a cup of tea, I’ll take a seat and we will just chat.

Chat over a cup of tea
Personally, I won’t ever bring a clipboard or a set of prewritten questions to ask you. Never. What I will have is a floppy old moleskin notebook and pen, which, if it’s OK with you, I’ll occasionally jot down some notes, with lots of squiggles and lines connecting facts. I think and memorise things visually!
I do need to compile some records, such as dates, peoples names whom you may want mentioning and any important markers in life, but the main emphasis is just talking together. Talking and listening. As a funeral celebrant, the way I work is to listen, observe and gently prompt and tease information from you, so much so that it should feel like a relief to share it with me.
Why do I feel worried about meeting a funeral celebrant?
Inevitably many people feel apprehension before they meet a funeral celebrant. Questions you may start to ask yourself are frequently along these lines: should you have facts written down in advance? Should you know what music you want played? Will the celebrant ask questions I don’t know the answer to? And above all else, will I be too upset and emotional to even talk to them?
I’m here to reassure you that none of the above matters. Together we can work it out. You will be surprised how much you already know in your head and how much instinctively that you have already decided. Or you may already know everything about the service that you wish me to take as your loved one has kept a record in advance of their death, perhaps in the form of a wishes book, a recording or a life legacy document?
However you approach our meeting, with how much or how little information, it simply doesn’t matter. What I will do is listen to you and your family, learn and absorb the life story and love you are sharing with me. Time is not relevant when we meet, we’ll chat as long as you need. Afterwards, as you will almost inevitably have forgotten something as it’s human nature, just call me and we’ll chat some more.
Some kind words from my google reviews
Juliette was an absolute star! She gave our life celebration for my late Father a fantastic and well thought through Eulogy. Everyone who attended the service stated ‘That was so your Dad’. If you are looking for a celebrant that will do your loved one proud, Juliette is the person you should select. Tender, thoughtful, looks out for the family before and during the service and ensures that what is said is well thought through, constructive and appreciative of the life sadly departed. Many thanks, Juliette.
A few questions your funeral celebrant may ask you.
Ultimately when we meet, I will be asking open ended questions about the life of the deceased. Wonderfully immersive questions about their life, their loves, their family. Yet there will always be some questions which are, I suppose the best way to say this, very pertinent, at least I think so and I am sure you will do as well. Such as –
- What name did they use? For example, a Joanne may have always been known as Jo or Joey, an Alfred was always Fred or even Ginger! Any grandchildren will want to hear about their granny, but maybe not a grandma, or a nan or a Grandy?
- When were they born? Where is only important if you think it is.
- Did they have any last wishes for their service? After all, as I mentioned they may already have paperwork in place.
- And the more tricky ones, I shall gently ask. Are their any family dynamics I should know about? Never to mention, just to be aware and cautious of feelings.
- Does anybody attending have any special needs I should take into consideration?
- Will anyone be watching on the webcam and should I address them for you?
- Perhaps one or many people will be speaking and how can I help?
Music, poetry, literature, love…..all and more can be woven into conversation, so don’t worry about that. Just show me photos and let me look and listen.

Show me photos of their life to share happy memories
With a background degree and masters in art and design history, I am able to read your room for visual clues that you may not even realise speak of a life. The cookbooks, paintings, photos, ornaments, a bag of knitting, a homemade cushion. Gardening gloves or packets of sweeties. CDs and records, or gaming consoles and toys. Every object has been kept and chosen and tells a story to me.
Think about smells as well, a perfume or cologne, a favourite cooked dish or newly mown grass. Choose meaningful memories and feelings, not just obvious and chronological facts.

Think about gorgeous smells and behaviours you associate with your loved one. Both serious and funny stuff that made them the person they were to you and others.
Be assured that meeting me and talking about how best I can help you as a funeral celebrant is a gentle, compassionate and truthful process of sharing ideas, stories, often laughter and joy about your person. I am beside you all the way in ensuring the best possible ceremony you will have as a fitting and true memorial to them and their life.
Google Review
After devastatingly losing my brother we had to start planning his funeral. My family decided that as he was non-religious, a service by a celebrant would be much more suited. We wanted a service that was truly reflective of him as a person and wanted it to be a celebration of his life.
We were lucky enough to cross paths with Juliette who was absolutely perfect for the role. She reached out to my family and I from the beginning and was our rock throughout planning the funeral. She met with us several times and spoke to us on the phone to listen to our memories, thoughts and feelings about my brother. She gave us all her time and more and supported each family member throughout the whole process. She said from the beginning that she didn’t want to be a stranger and she certainly wasn’t.
For the funeral we opted for a combination of listening to both memories and some of my brothers favourite music. Juliette created a beautifully tailored service which went above and beyond our expectations and was just perfect and everything we had hoped for and more.
Juliette is very compassionate, approachable, kind, warm and the perfect celebrant. My family and I would highly recommend Juliette if you are looking for a completely unique and beautiful service that is truly reflective of your loved one.
Thank you Juliette from the bottom of our hearts for providing us with the perfect send off for my brother that he truly deserved.
I sincerely hope that this blog has helped you. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions about how a funeral celebrant works or message me. I shall always listen.
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